Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
