You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
