is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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