i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Randomize
