I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize