she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Randomize
