Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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