Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
