lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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