would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
accomplished twins. life is a go
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
