so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
