so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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