Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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