i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
