i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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