He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
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