I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
