do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
