found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
