I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
