I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
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