YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
