I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
