So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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