At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
