WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
