There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
