.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
