The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Apparently you make a good broom.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
