Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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