you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Randomize
