Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Randomize
