IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize