started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
