I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize
