I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
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