I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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