I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
