What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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