i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize