Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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