If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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