i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
