if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
