All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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