I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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