Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize
