I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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