She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
