I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
