Its about making memories worth repressing
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
