The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
