We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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