My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
