How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
