Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize
