Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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