remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
