Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
