i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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