Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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