just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
wow bdsm is so cute
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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