the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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