The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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