I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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