i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Randomize
