i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
well, you know. whores of a feather.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize