I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
